Friday, May 19, 2000

Sad. Happy. Mad. Creative. Incompetent. Proficient. I could go on and on. You name the emotion/feeling and I guarantee I've felt it at least once in the last two weeks. Swinging from one extreme to the other has left me totally exhausted. I've got to make some changes in my life and soon. It is my life after all. I am in control of each and every day.

posted by Lisa 5/19/2000 09:34:00 PM | link it |

Speaking of law enforcement... this is very funny and 99% true.

posted by Lisa 5/19/2000 08:21:00 AM | link it |

For my cop friends...

Great Things Heard While on the Beat -

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" (In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet)

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh - did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Listen with your ears, not with your mouth."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them."

"Life's tough, but it's certainly tougher if you're stupid."

"Bullet-proof vests aren't."

"In God we trust, on all others we run NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Law enforcement is not a spectator sport."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief Of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"I don't believe they should use the electric chair, they need to use electric bleachers."

--taken from today's issue of Friday Funnies.

posted by Lisa 5/19/2000 08:13:00 AM | link it |

Thursday, May 18, 2000

Well, my office was still looking good when I got there this morning. Took a couple of plants out with me since I have a west window now.

Tonight was teeball practice for Christopher. He didn't even have a break between that and soccer. When do kids just get to be kids??

posted by Lisa 5/18/2000 08:22:00 PM | link it |

I can't wait to get to work today! Yesterday I moved my office into a room all of it's own and it looks soooo good. I hated to leave last night for fear that it might change while I was gone. It feels so good to be organized again.

Now if I could get my personal life in order...

posted by Lisa 5/18/2000 08:14:00 AM | link it |

Wednesday, May 17, 2000

What's a girl to do when she's got an hour to kill? Why color her hair of course! Ever wonder how that works? Me neither.

posted by Lisa 5/17/2000 10:00:00 PM | link it |

Sad.

posted by Lisa 5/17/2000 09:10:00 AM | link it |

Tuesday, May 16, 2000

I haven't felt very well for the last few weeks and found myself very sick in the middle of the night last night. I keep thinking something is terribly wrong with me even though I know I am just stressed. Amazing what havoc stress can wreak on your body.

posted by Lisa 5/16/2000 11:39:00 PM | link it |

Monday, May 15, 2000

AAAAAA!!! Can't read fonts this small!! Maybe I am just getting old but I think my eyes are still pretty good. A lot of my job entails researching and it seems like when I do find what I'm looking for, I either:

a.) can't read it because of poor design;
b.) get a 404 Not Found error; or
c.) the site has been taken down.

Ya know, there's a lot of startups out there that apparently just don't make it. Too bad because there's a lot of good ideas in the minds of young entrepreneurs. Wish I had the money to finance them all. Can you say Powerball?

posted by Lisa 5/15/2000 03:36:00 PM | link it |