Tonight is the night we exchange gifts at my mother's house. I usually look forward to this night more than any other night of the year. This year I feel like I didn't do enough. Financially I wasn't able to splurge on those I love like I usually do and I didn't have time to put a lot of effort into what I could afford. Except for my mom... I bought her a faster computer perhaps hoping she'd step into my world a little bit. Her old computer had a 100Mhz processor and a 14.4 modem. She has the attention span of a two year old when it comes to just sitting and waiting on something so she'd turn it on then go dust. Come back and double click the mail then go vaccuum while it dialed up and took 20 minutes to download her mail. She'd then spend about five minutes deleting email and shut it off. She's never been able to understand how I can spend so much time online working and chatting with friends. I doubt I'd be interested if I had to experience it at 14.4 either. Hopefully her newfound speed will let her see what an amazing thing the internet really is. She's pretty adament that chatting is people with no life so don't look for her on ICQ anytime soon. heh.
After reading and then re-reading my post from a few minutes ago, I realized I probably am being a little harsh. Then again, it is a business site. Seems to me like a bank would want a better web presence than that. They spent millions of dollars on a new building which is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen. Granted, I don't get out much but it really is a sight to behold... especially sitting in the middle of Leon. The architects designed it so that it blended well with the older buildings, particularly the Courthouse, but they also added some more modern features that make it unique. If you were to walk past the building you'd want to go inside and take a look around. It is equally impressive on the inside and chances are the look and feel would make you want to do some kind of business there - open an account, take out a loan or something. Shouldn't their website have the same kind of impact on it's visitors?
Todd just told me to check our bank's internet site for the bank hours tomorrow. I typed in www.citizenbank.com, a lovely site but not the one belonging to our bank. Had to ask him what ours was. He said www.citizensbanks.com so I typed that in and about fell out of my chair. Jesus!! I could rant and rave forever about this. I do not proclaim to be the world's best web designer but for crying out loud. Normally I think I am being overly harsh because I do earn my living by designing websites but that is just plain hideous. If by chance whoever did design it happens across this, please see Zeldman immediately. Read a little. Get inspired. Geesh.
I decided to forego the nicotine patches for another week or so. I just don't trust a patch to deliver my nicotine in a timely enough manner right now. I am letting things bother me that I probably shouldn't and stressing over the holidays. I still have a few gifts to buy and several to wrap. Christmas caught me off guard this year. I usually decorate the house and outside the house. There's sure not much of that this year. Matter of fact, the plastic pumpkins from Halloween are still out there under the snow somewhere. Pathetic.
I have half a pack of cigarettes left then I will start on the nicotine patches that Todd got me. My aunt was telling me to be careful because my cousin used the patches and it almost killed him. Something happened that made him really mad and the increase in his blood pressure caused too much nicotine to be released into his system and he ended up in the hospital. I was telling Todd this story and told him I guess if I felt myself getting mad I'd have to take the patch off for awhile. He said "Hell, you'll have it off more than you'll have it on." He's probably right. I didn't post an entry here last night because I was so damn mad. Nothing I'd have typed would've been fit to publish. I have a very short list of things that make my blood boil instantly:
People lying to me.
People neglecting their children or family.
People who think they are better than everyone else.
Unfortunately, I had a run in with the latter. It should've been no big deal. I said "Hi" to someone who chose not to say "Hi" back to me. Sometimes this person speaks to me like I'm her best bud. Sometimes she's less than enthusiastic but will still at least mutter something my direction and I can live with that. I figure that just means she's had a bad day. God knows I've had those. This however was a downright 'yeah I heard you and I'll be damned if I am going to acknowledge' kind of things. That is something I can't live with. I know that I should just let it go and forget about it but I won't. I've already come a long ways from the girl who used to turn around and deck people for that kind of crap. As a civilized adult, I will try my dangest not to smack someone but I will stew and brew and rant and rave about it for days. There's just no excuse for anyone to be that rude to another person. I don't expect everyone in the world to be best pals but I don't think it hurts to show just a smidgen of decency and respect. Okay, I'm getting mad all over again so time for a subject change.
It snowed again. My boss is in town from Boston and he and I took a little journey in his dad's 4x4. He wanted to go to the grocery store for garlic of all things. Anyway, we're out and about in the snow and it is so pretty. A little deep by now but pretty nonetheless. We stopped by my office where they're installing baseboard heaters and when we left I locked the door behind me. Just got home when the guy who was doing the heat called to tell me I had locked him out of my office and he needed back in. So I go out and clean the car off and head back out to the office. When I got back into town, I "scooped the loop" to see what was going on and my friend Lori was outside the courthouse cleaning off her car. You may remember a couple of weeks ago when she left a nasty anti-snow message on my machine. Anyway, there she is cleaning five inches of snow off her car and I know she's cussing me for all my snow prayers. I rolled down my window and yelled "Hey!". She is always happy to see me - initially anyway - so she goes "Lisa!!!!" and breaks out into the smile I love so much. She starts heading toward my car, snow brush in hand, big smile on her face and I say "Isn't this great??" Oh God it was funny! I thought she was going to chuck the snow brush into the side of my head! I know she still loves me though : )
School is already set to be delayed two hours. That was the deal last night and they ended up cancelling. I bet they do the same tomorrow because visibility is zero... even in town at times.
Today has been another one of those days where nothing has really gone right. The day started with Christopher disappearing on us. He wanted to play outside so I told him he could for 15 minutes then he had to come in and he had to stay by the house where I could see him. Todd suggested that he could scoop some snow which he likes to do. He'd been out about five minutes when I went to check on him and he was gone. That makes me instantly terrified. We go around about this all the time it seems. If I can't see him, I automatically assume the worst - as most mom's do - particularly in this weather. As is always the case, he had ran directly to the neighbor kid's house. Needless to say, he was grounded to the couch for the rest of the day.
If the weather clears up for tomorrow, the Dell tech will come down to fix my work machine. That would be great because the boss is coming into town on Thursday and we usually work a day at my office when he's here. It's also dang near impossible to test stuff without my work system.
Now I see the city snow plows are running up and down our street so no sleep again tonight I guess. I think that is why I am getting injured so frequently lately. I'm totally exhausted. The only time it's quiet enough to sleep is during the day and of course I have to work then. Maybe I'll skip the family Christmas gatherings over the weekend and sleep then.
At least Todd made it home with no dents in the patrol car, no frostbite and no close calls. I may give him his close call though.. he is reading something about a police dept in northern Iowa hiring... if I move anywhere, it will be completely out of Iowa. I won't be swapping one part of the state for another.
This weekend I proved that I am indeed a multi-faceted individual. Not only can I be eloquent and gracious and poised, or professional and commanding, or caring and kind, but I can also be a bumbling idiot. Yup folks, I discovered that there is something that can shake me so completely to my core that I cannot think or speak or act appropriately for the circumstance.
Here's the deal... last night the man whom I absolutely adore presented me with a beautiful ring. What did I do? I promptly stuck my foot in my mouth, asked too many questions and just screwed the whole thing up in general. Ack! Now in all fairness to me (and this is about me after all), I wasn't even expecting it as I've preached the anti-marriage sermon from the top of my lungs for months. I'm sure if I'd had a clue, I'd have handled it much, much better. Anyway, what followed the presentation of the ring covered the full range of emotions for both of us I think. Thanks and big hugs to Kaycee and Al for listening to me ramble over the last 24 hours while I tried to sort this all out in my mind. I tend to way over think things and always have to count on my friends and family to keep me on track. Denny reminded me that this is a situation where no one else's opinion mattered so stop worrying about what others would think. Nancy reminded me that it's the next logical step but it didn't mean I had to do anything major right away. Kaycee gave me one of her cyberslaps for being such a dufus about it. (Turns out she's known about it for the past month or so.) Kayce, you're right... I do need a smack but it's all okay now.
Todd, thank you most of all for being understanding of me in all my moments.. even ones where I act like a total ass. I am going to keep you forever but that next ring better be a LOOONG ways off. : )
