Saturday, July 14, 2001

Julio, the resident cockatiel, is watching me clean the house and learning new music. When I get the opportunity to clean with no one else around I crank the stereo. Our friend Denny recently gave us a CD changer that holds 25 CDs that we've never really tried out. I grabbed my five favorites from the car and popped them in. Van Halen, Guns n Roses, Creed, AC/DC and Boston. Van Halen plays first ... because they are the best band ever ... and Julio is not sure what to think. Okay, so Eruption is not a good bird song.

Skipping on through to find something he'll like and hit a Sammy Hagar song. Julio's bobbing his head and doing this freaky stretch thing. I think he likes it. Skip to a David Lee Roth song and he gets all agitated again. Pacing the perch from one end to the other. Skip around some more and find another Sammy. Julio goes back to the stretching, bobbing, preening thing. He likes Sammy better. Me too!

posted by Lisa 7/14/2001 03:21:00 PM | link it |

C's dad was supposed to pick him up an hour ago. The fact that he isn't here yet is no surprise but C's reaction to his tardiness is very surprising. Normally he paces and watches the clock. As the minutes tick off, he becomes more agitated and eventually runs to his room crying about how his dad doesn't love him, always breaks his promises, etc. His dad shows up with lame excuses about oversleeping or whatever, C. forgives him and all is well. I have to clamp my jaws tightly to keep from launching into my responsibility speech. So today he's an hour late and C. is saying nothing. I catch him looking towards the clock but he's not having a fit. Not even a peep. It seems that he's finally accepted that his dad isn't perfect.

...three hours later... I started this post then got busy on other things. Scott called at noon,

"Why didn't you call me to wake me up?"
"Not my responsibility."
"Well now we don't have time to do anything."
"You can explain that to him when you get here."

I am not going to let the fact that he was four hours late piss me off. Nope. It's not my problem.

posted by Lisa 7/14/2001 01:20:00 PM | link it |

Wednesday, July 11, 2001

Wow... I received a lot of email in response to my headache post last night. Seems as though there are many headache sufferers who can recommend a treatment. I think the best treatment for me is to just calm the hell down. I'm back to letting everything and everybody get to me again. I cannot control the world or the people in it. Just myself. God, that sucks 'cuz I'd be dang good at ruling the world. I just know I would. heh.

I found out today that my first husband's grandmother died. Granny lived to be 93. She was a tough old broad and took great delight in hearing people call her that. On her 81st birthday she said she was going to kick my butt. I said "Granners, you can't get your leg that high!" and laughed at her. As I was walking away she gave me a very firm kick smack in the middle of my butt. When I whirled around, she was leaning on the stove with the orneriest look in her eye and a grin from ear to ear. Quite a feat for a woman who had to stand on her tiptoes to break 5'. Tough as nails. She will certainly be missed.

posted by Lisa 7/11/2001 06:26:00 PM | link it |

Tuesday, July 10, 2001

Headache from hell day again. I am so sick of it. No one can seem to explain why I practically fall over dead from headaches half the days of each month. Today's was a whopper. I almost turned the car around on the way to C's babysitters tonight. I thought of turning around and calling someone else to pick him up. As is usually the case, I accused myself of being a whimp and kept on driving.

Todd and I were rehashing an old disagreement tonight and our recollections of how the dispute was resolved were totally different. Because we are both so busy we often finish up conversations via email so I drug out the email archives to find exactly who said what. I was reading one of the emails I had sent to Todd in a fit of anger and couldn't help but laugh my ass off. I said to him, "You should just whap me on the head when I get like this because this is ridiculous." Man can I argue stuff into the ground. Reading my words I get a visual of myself towering over someone with my finger in their face. How stupid.

From the blogging world... I am a wee bit apprehensive about believing things I read anymore because of the Swenson fiasco but if this is true, Mollie could sure use some extra prayers. This I know for a fact is true... Zal lost her husband two years ago this week and I know it's weighing heavy on her heart. How can I gauge the truth of that? Because it happened here, in my neck of the woods, and I remember at that time thinking how much his young widow must be hurting. Such a senseless accident caused by another's stupidity. Part of the reason why I hate drunks and others who do things to impair their judgement then crawl behind the wheel of an automobile. Anyway, Zal is made of real tough stuff and she's carrying on. I admire her for that.

I will never grow weary of the internet and how it connects people. I said before, the Swenson ordeal resulted in many friendships for me. A similar oddity occurred when I encountered Zal's site. She had a tribute page for Ryan back then and I stumbled onto her site from a weblog link somewhere. I'm reading the tribute and all of this starts clicking in my head. At first I thought it too bizarre... surely this girl wasn't the same one I knew of. Surely this tribute wasn't to the man I was thinking of. I mulled it over a day or two and emailed her. I was saddened to hear that it was the same but it gave me the opportunity to know her better and connect. I got to say the things I wanted to say two years ago when I didn't know her but wished I could do something to alleviate her pain. Anyway, the internet continues to amaze and inspire and Zal, you rock.

posted by Lisa 7/10/2001 10:03:00 PM | link it |

Sunday, July 08, 2001

Patti has gone and flipped her lid I think. Coffee and wine and broccoli and asparagus and a margarita on a beach??? If that ain't a recipe for some serious physical illness, I'm afraid I don't know what is. Just reading all that in one sentence makes me queasy. (says she who just ate two plates of tuna helper and an oatmeal creme pie)

posted by Lisa 7/08/2001 11:44:00 PM | link it |

Cool. I just found this shockwave thing of the song that my boss says should be my theme song.

posted by Lisa 7/08/2001 10:58:00 PM | link it |

It was so dang hot today. Heat index of around 105. So what did I do? The same stupid crap I do every year when the temp busts 100. I went outside and found things to do. I pulled the grass and weeds out of the landscaping rocks. I mowed the yard. I played baseball with Christopher. I am hot. I am insane.

posted by Lisa 7/08/2001 08:38:00 PM | link it |

Finally managed to get everything and everyone back on course again. It seems as though Todd's mood was because of me. Those of you who know me know that I am an opinionated individual and I spout my perceived notions whether people want to hear them or not. Sometimes I do this and it appears as if I am siding up with the enemy and attacking. I didn't mean to attack - I just have very strong feelings on this issue. I hate court orders and scheduled visitations and all that bullshit. That's what it is... pure bullshit. It's necessary in some cases... now here's where I come off as a total bitch... it's necessary in some cases because the adults chose to act like assholes. Yeah, I know... sometimes there's these special circumstances where one is the asshole and the other doesn't want to be. Doesn't matter. Does.not.matter. I am sooooo rigid in my thinking on this one. I firmly believe that each of us is responsible for our actions and reactions. Scott has made me mad on several occasions. Sometimes mad enough that I've hauled off and clocked him up side the head. Anyone stands and yells in my face long enough and they are gonna get whopped. What does that prove? That I can be an ass. Sometimes I choose to react negatively. I'm not proud of that and it's solely my responsibility to never let it happen again. Every conflict in the world is a game of action-reaction. In order for the conflict to end, someone has got to step out of the game. I believe I will shut up now before I inadvertantly kick up another dispute. In a nutshell, I love Todd and I love his kids and because of that, I teeter on a very thin line between being supportive and being a bossy, opinionated bitch.

posted by Lisa 7/08/2001 01:01:00 PM | link it |